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There are three engineers in a car from Flashcomment Computer jokes Jokes
There are three engineers in a car; an electrical engineer, a chemical engineer and a Microsoft engineer. Suddenly the car just stops by the side of the road, and the three engineers look at each other wondering what could be wrong. The electrical engineer suggests stripping down the electronics of the car and trying to trace where a fault might have occurred. The chemical engineer, not knowing much about cars, suggests that maybe the fuel is becoming emulsified and getting blocked somewhere. Then, the Microsoft engineer, not knowing much about anything, comes up with a suggestion, 'Why don't we close all the windows, get out, get back in, open the windows again, and maybe it'll work !?'

After a caller gave a technician her from Flashcomment Computer jokes Jokes
After a caller gave a technician her PC's serial number, he scanned a database of registered users and responded, "I see you have an Aptiva" desktop unit. Before he could say another word, the caller shrieked and said she'd be right back. When the customer returned, the technician asked if she was all right. The caller responded: "Had I realized you could see me, I never would have telephoned in my bathrobe."

A caller perplexed that his new desktop from Flashcomment Computer jokes Jokes
A caller, perplexed that his new desktop computer--the one that was supposed to do everything short of bringing on world peace - was doing nothing, cried out for help. No problem, the IBM technician said. First, open a "window" to launch a specific program. The conversation continued, and the caller asked a few moments later if it might be all right to close the window. Why, the IBM technician asked. Because, the caller responded, it was getting very chilly.

A Software Engineer a Hardware Engineer and from Flashcomment Computer jokes Jokes
A Software Engineer, a Hardware Engineer and a Branch Manager were on their way to a meeting. They were driving down a steep mountain road when suddenly the brakes on their car failed. The car careened almost out of control down the road, bouncing off the crash barriers, until it miraculously ground to a halt scraping along the mountainside. The car's occupants, shaken but unhurt, now had a problem: they were stuck halfway down a mountain in a car with no brakes. What were they to do? "I know," said the Branch Manager, "Let's have a meeting, propose a Vision, formulate a Mission Statement, define some Goals, and by a process of Continuous Improvement find a solution to the Critical Problems, and we can be on our way." "No, no," said the Hardware Engineer, "That will take far too long, and besides, that method has never worked before. I 've got my Swiss Army knife with me, and in no time at all I can strip down the car's braking system, isolate the fault, fix it, and we can be on our way." "Well," said the Software Engineer, "Before we do anything, I think we should push the car back up the road and see if it happens again."

Tech Support Which format are the images from Flashcomment Computer jokes Jokes
Tech Support: "Which format are the images you send?" Customer: "Rectangular, 15x11 centimeters."

Customer It says Ive performed an illegal from Flashcomment Computer jokes Jokes
Customer: "It says I've performed an illegal operation and will be shut down. Have I done something wrong?"

Customer Why didnt you tell me I from Flashcomment Computer jokes Jokes
Customer: "Why didn't you tell me I have call waiting?" Tech Support: "Sir, we have no way of knowing if you have call waiting." Customer: "Well, you should ask everybody!" Tech Support: "Do you have call waiting?" Customer: "What's that?"

Customer Wait that password looks really gray from Flashcomment Computer jokes Jokes
Customer: "Wait, that password looks really gray. I'm going to type it in again."

Customer Ive been doing risk analysis by from Flashcomment Computer jokes Jokes
Customer: "I've been doing risk analysis by hand for five years, and we finally got your program so we could do it automatically -- but there's a bug in it. The answers come out differently each time." Tech Support: "Sir, are you aware that our program uses Monte-Carlo analysis?" Customer: "Of course I am. That's why I bought it." Tech Support: "Sir, do you know what Monte-Carlo analysis does?" Customer: "Don't get rude with me, of course I do." Tech Support: "Put briefly, sir, it runs through your project several times, throwing random delays in, and at the end it averages out the results." Customer: "I know all that -- what I want to know is why it keeps giving me different answers every time I run it."

Customer Hi Im supposed to pack zip from Flashcomment Computer jokes Jokes
Customer: "Hi, I'm supposed to pack [zip] my database and send it to you. What should I pack it in?"

Customer My disk is stuck in my from Flashcomment Computer jokes Jokes
Customer: "My disk is stuck in my disk drive. Clicking eject doesn't work." Tech Support: "Ok, turn the power to your Mac off, hold down the mouse clicker, and power the Mac back up." Customer: "Look, I don't have three hands!"

Me What is that noise Customer Hey from Flashcomment Computer jokes Jokes
Me: "What is that noise?" Customer: "Hey Martinez!! I'm on the phone! Cut it out!" Me: "What was that?" Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Customer: "It's from a device." Me: "What kind of device?" Customer: "I don't know." Me: "Like a fax machine or something?" Customer: "I don't know. Someone is under house arrest or something."

Tech Support How may I help you from Flashcomment Computer jokes Jokes
Tech Support: "How may I help you today, sir?" Customer: "Hello...hey, er...I think I've got the wrong software installed in my computer." Tech Support: "Why is that, sir?" Customer: "I bought this minitower system from you, and it came loaded with software called the 'XYZ Desktop'." Tech Support: "Yes...?" Customer: "Shouldn't it be called the 'XYZ Minitower'? I OBVIOUSLY have the wrong software installed in this computer."

Customer How do I print my voicemail from Flashcomment Computer jokes Jokes
Customer: "How do I print my voicemail?"

Many people in computer labs will assure from Flashcomment Computer jokes Jokes
Many people in computer labs will assure you, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that they were doing everything correctly, and it still wasn't working, only to make you get up from your nice comfy seat to walk over to the other side of the room and do it yourself. Invariably, after it works the first time for you, the response is, "THAT'S WHAT I TYPED THE FIRST TIME!" Obviously not.

Another customer called Tech Support to say from Flashcomment Computer jokes Jokes
Another customer called Tech Support to say her brand-new computer wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in, and sat there for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked what happened when she pressed the power switch, she asked "What power switch?"

An exasperated caller to Tech Support couldnt from Flashcomment Computer jokes Jokes
An exasperated caller to Tech Support couldn't get her new computer to turn on. After ensuring the computer was plugged in, the technician asked her what happened when she pushed the power button. Her response "I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing happens." The "foot pedal" turned out to be the computer's mouse.

A technician received a call from a from Flashcomment Computer jokes Jokes
A technician received a call from a customer who was enraged because his computer had told him he was "bad and invalid". The tech explained that the computer's "bad" and "invalid" responses shouldn't be taken personally.

A customer called to complain that his from Flashcomment Computer jokes Jokes
A customer called to complain that his keyboard no longer worked. He had cleaned it by filling up his tub with soap and water and soaking the keyboard for a day, then he removed all the keys and washed them individually.

A customer needed help setting up a from Flashcomment Computer jokes Jokes
A customer needed help setting up a new program, so the technician suggested he go to the local Egghead. "Yeah, I got me a couple of friends," the man said. When told Egghead was a software store, the man said, "Oh, I thought you meant for me to find a couple of geeks."